Wed 19 Aug, 2009
Look… I know we don’t get along. My raiders actually seemed genuinely shocked that I wasn’t permitted to attend one of your raids. I can’t hold that against you. Every raid leader has the right to allow or deny anyone they want to the raid. Numerous people told me as long as I sat down and shut up, I would be welcome. I knew better.
I know you’re not a bad person at heart. I recognize I put you through hell. I made you make a choice that you really didn’t want to make. I made you do double or triple the work you’d been planning. I made you throw out 3 years worth of work and have to start all over again. I made your wife furious because she was hoping that you’d finally be able to start backing off and doing less work. Suddenly you were stuck in the thick of it again. Forced to build from the ground up.
Yes…. I recognize that I did that. I recognize that the impact I had on not 1, but 6 guilds was broad. I’ve had people come up and pat me on the back and say… “It had to be done… He had it coming”… but it was me who pulled the trigger… not them. I’m the man who made you make that decision. I was the straw that broke the camels back. And I recognize plenty of other people loath me for it.
Let me be clear on something… I respect you for your knowledge…. I respect you for your ability to lead a raid. People don’t get the sheer volume of work involved. The amount of time I spent at work on my breaks reading boss strategies. The amount of times I snuck in a spare bit of time to arrange the raid. The amount of time I’ve spent working on tuning and tweaking and other things. I recognize you spend more time than me.
We give up a lot of time you and I. We give up family time. We give up our desires… sure… we lead the raid, but only so long as the masses agree with what we do. When the masses decide our reign is at an end… that’s it. We close up shop and start all over. Our control is tenous. Its based on the desires of others to participate and help us.
What I disagree with you on is more fundamental…. I disagree with how you treat people. Its entirely possible that you suffer from an extreme case of inability to articulate properly. It could be that your the most misunderstood raid leader in history. Perhaps if we sat down in a bar we’d be able to have a couple of beers and sort it all out.
When I got the first story I was hard pressed to believe it. Who on earth in a casual guild would ask for their people’s phone numbers? I mean jesus… I play the game for fun….don’t call me at home. If I want you to call me I’ll give you my number, but don’t make it a requirement.
When I inheritted an old member of your guild and I found out that they went through a 2 hour grilling based around how they were letting down the guild and how they should stay… that’s pretty messed up. I wasn’t sure how much I believed it till I saw other’s who got the exact same treatment.
Its a game… see I don’t know if you get that. I treat it as something I do for fun. When I say, family friendly, that doesn’t mean I want to treat you like my family and think of you as that crazy relative that I never want to talk to who won’t leave me alone….
Its not work.
Its not meant to be something I have to feel obligated to do.
If I were applying to a hard core raiding guild, I’d fully expect to have it be more job like. I’d have minimum raid attendance. I’d have requirements to meet. I’d expect to get dressed down and to find out that I better get in line or risk getting booted.
You and I just have a fundamental disagreement on approach. I want my people to be there because they want to be there. I don’t want them to be guilted into it. Somebody who really doesn’t want to be there? They aren’t worth having there. They are miserable. They aren’t paying attention. They are stuck in self loathing or guilt because they might be letting someone down.
I want my people to excel because they think its fun. I want my tanks and DPS to play tag. I want the DPS to see if they can tag the tanks threat without going over. I want them to challenge each other to get better and stronger because its fun.
Consistently raiding will make progress, but eventually a wall shows up. Its a wall that becomes soul crushing and just basically sucks the will out of people to continue. Its slow at first, but its there.
Sure…we all have to suck it up and do stuff we don’t want to do. I would love to tank every single night. They’ve made it so much fun that I would do it every night in a raid, but I don’t, because its more important that I help everyone. I heal because its something we need. Its a different challenge. I don’t hate it, but it wouldn’t be my first choice. But I’m raiding and its fun.
I don’t hate you. I disagree with your approach. I respect you for the work you do, but I won’t ever agree with how you treat people. Fair enough?
Who am I kidding…. you’ll still hate me… and that’s fair…..
Not a Saint… Starman